She Can't Let Him Go

Anonymous Asked:

My friend broke up with her boyfriend long ago but still cannot get over him. Recently he returned to her hometown on a travel trip. At first she told me she had met him and now can move on. But then, she confessed that after that meeting, she keeps calling or tries to contact him. The bad thing is he has his new life. She knows that and seeing him with another woman makes her feel unhappy. And yet, she keeps calling.

I feel I should say something to her, but have no clue. Could you please help me? (We are just friends) Thank you.

Blushgirl Says:

Ultimately, the only person who can do anything in this situation is your friend. I am surprised the guy she keeps calling hasn't said something to her by now. I don't know their history, but could he be leading her on in some way? If so, then she needs to get away from him even more. If she is ever going to move on, she needs to stay away from this guy, especially since he has a new woman in his life.

If you have talked to her about this situation already, then that is all you can do. If you haven't, then tell her your concerns. Just assure her that you are there for her, and care about her. You want to be there for her if she needs to talk, but you don't want to become a "crutch" she can lean on whenever she is feeling depressed. Ultimately, she may need some space to work through these things on her own. Some people need more time than others to cope with certain situations and to come to decisions they need to make.

Just be there for her, but don't feel the need to "say something" to make her feel better. There is still something holding her to this old relationship, and that is something only she can change. There is nothing you can say that will make her problems magically go away. You have already done what you needed to do. Just let her know you are there, and care. That is what she needs right now… a good friend to listen.

Be a good friend, but don't feel the need to change her life for her. That is something only she can do… and she will when she is truly ready. She is very lucky to have you! - Kelly