Writing Your Own Wedding Vows

Write Your Own Wedding Vows




The speaking of marriage vows are not words to be spoken lightly or in haste, that were found in a textbook or magazine article. The meaning behind the words you utter when saying your vows should be studied and meditated on long before they are made.


The words of a marriage covenant convey the most significant intentions ever to come from your heart through your lips towards another human being, to love honour and cherish till death us do part! That's huge.




Most vows I have witnessed of late remind me of a puritan cliché seen on many posters and a comic strip that states 'love is never having to say you're sorry' and it makes me sad to think that such beautiful words can eventually cause so much hurt in the pure of heart.




We say we're sorry when we come to realize we have unjustly hurt a loved one with words or actions that invariably breach a promise or vow made, and we seek forgiveness in saying we are sorry. Without remorse there can be no love.




If never having to say you're sorry means never hurting, then to never hurt means love is perfected in you. Yet we make vows as though love is perfected in us when it is not.


Most pre-written vows are idyllic and beautiful, yet place unrealistic expectations on fallible men and women, invariably these are broken and leave countless couples broken hurt and devastated in their wake.




Wedding vows are words embedded in a solemn covenant promise which if kept will bring about blessing and if broken a curse.


A promise kept and a promise broken will change the way you live breathe and think for the rest of your days.




The Importance of Vows




There are many beautiful romantic words you can use to express your feelings to one another as a run up to the vows, but don't confuse these with the actual vows. The actual vows are the words intended to bind, commit, and tie you to your partner for the rest of your living days. They are separate from the feelings you have for each other. They are words that form the very foundation of your future.

Consider this; your vows are the reason why friends and family surround you on your wedding day, to bear witness to what was said between you and your beloved. The whole wedding event with all it's pomp and ceremony, preparations, friends and family coming from afar, their costs, your costs, your family costs, all to hear you and your partner make your vows, now that's powerful!

Wedding Vow elements

In this section I will outline the basic elements of two kinds of love we find ourselves dealing with in relationships on a day to day basis. As humans we are flesh, having a tendency towards conditional love which in essence says 'I do for you, therefore you do for me' which has it's merits and appeals to our fallen nature, but is diametrically opposed to unconditional love, derived from the Greek word agape which is also spoken of as the 'God kind of love'.

I have listed the characteristics of the two love forms so that you can consider each as you ponder the words you are about to write in your vows. Your vows need to be prophetic in the sense that they speak promises based on your character now into future existence that are not yet, knowing full well that you are not there yet and that a road lies before you both. The only hint I am going to give you is to use phrases like 'I will strive to', and 'forgive me if I fall'. If I give you any more, then the vows will not be yours.

Unconditional Love (humility)

Unconditional love circumvents those around it and seeks to give


Unconditional love is never offended and always forgives


Unconditional love serves without expecting compensation


Unconditional love never fails


Unconditional love finds reward is in giving

Conditional Love (pride)




Conditional love is at the center of itself seeking what it can get from others


Conditional love is easily offended and does not forgive easily


Conditional love expects compensation for serving


Conditional love fails


Conditional love finds no reward in giving

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Eggs-tra Successful Marriage - Advice for a Marriage not Spoiled by Divorce

Spring brings newness of life, even in marriages. Young people are becoming engaged or planning to take their marriage vows. People, who have been married for a while, may be finding it difficult to stay together; their marriage may be on the brink of divorce. As Easter arrives with egg hunts and baskets filled with colored eggs, here is a basket of eggs-tra special ideas to make a fresh start on the success of your marriage.

As you take an idea from the Easter basket, notice that the eggs have colors that represent ways for an eggs-tra successful marriage. First, take the white egg. It does not have color. It represents the vows that you will take or took during your wedding ceremony. The translucent white means the pureness and faithfulness of marriage partners. The yolk signifies the value of commitment to success. When you promised to live together in marriage, you were pledging a harmonious relationship and to live together as peaceable as possible. However, when sickness, enlarged families or even changed life-styles threaten to crack your matrimonial bond, vows may become shattered like eggshells. Vows you make should be permanent, not shattered by other people or things.

Newly married couples usually are in the pink with love and affection for one another. Love is represented in the pink egg of the Easter basket. As time goes on, the pink may fade; the love and affection may wane. A partner may break the wedding vows and become unfaithful. When the color in your marriage egg begins to grow dim, seek fresh ways to bring it back. Plan a candlelight dinner for two in a romantic setting. Recall the love and affection that you once had. Discuss what has happened to lessen the brightness of your marriage egg. Send a card or a note of love to your spouse for no reason. Surprise him or her with tickets to his/her favorite event. Be sure that the other person attending with your spouse is YOU! Love covers a multitude of sins. Put your marriage egg back in the pink!

Marriage is often like a journey through green fields with eggshells. You may have to be careful where you walk, because the ugly head of green eggshells filled with jealousy may be lurking. You may encounter hard eggshells of distrust or un-forgiveness. Even financial woes or job changes may be hard eggshells to crack. Yet if you walk in peace and harmony with one another, you will find the journey easier. Talk about what has caused the hardness in the eggshell of marriage. Discuss about ways to overcome the green-colored resentments and failures that is spoiling your marriage egg and leading to divorce. Walking together in prayer relieves many problems. Even through the marriage egg may become cracked because of faults and imperfections by human beings, the egg of success can still be saved when couples walk and work together.

This Easter go on an Easter egg hunt for solutions. Make the hunt together. Seek advice from trained authorities in their fields of expertise. Look for different colored eggs with ways to communicate and place them in your marriage basket. Count your eggs of blessings when you felt love and affection for one another. Repeat your marriage vows on your anniversary. Talk about why you were married. Work together to make your marriage as valuable as a golden goose egg. Strive for an eggs-tra special successful marriage that will last until one of the spouses is deceased.